Recently, I took our truck to get a very overdue oil change. We were about to go out of town, and I wanted to make sure that it had fresh oil and some general routine maintenance. So, on my lunch break, I drove to the local oil change spot and got checked in.
As I proceeded to the waiting area, I was prepared to spend my time reading the news or playing my favorite puzzle game on my phone. I mean, as an introvert, I was happy to have time alone to just chill. But, the universe had other plans.
Since it was college football season, I had on my University of Georgia pullover with the trademark “G” prominent on the front. As I walked into the waiting area, I noticed a very proud University of Tennessee fan dressed in orange from head to toe. He was sipping on a cup of coffee and I made eye contact with him and said hello as I sat down. He then asked,”what’s that ‘G’ on your shirt for?” I remarked, “you know what that ‘G’ stands for,” and smiled up at him. I also told him that I was rooting for the Vols in their last game and was hoping they would win. He appreciated that and continued to talk with me until his vehicle was finished.
I found out his name was Larry and that he had 5 children – 4 boys and 1 girl. All grown and a several grandchildren he likes to spoil. He also asked me if I knew one of his sons because he worked at the Air National Guard base that I worked at during drill weekends. I just happened to know his son and knew of one of his other sons – who owns a car tinting and audio installation business. I told him that I had only heard of good things regarding his son’s business.
He also shared how much he was enjoying his retirement and how he loved living in the area he had called home most of his life. His only complaint, that his grandchildren were expensive to spoil!
He thanked me for speaking with him while he waited and I did the same. He asked me my name one last time so he could remember to tell his boys. He smiled as he walked out the door onto the rest of the new year.
I noticed another older gentleman in the waiting room who was watching the technicians finish up on his truck. One of them came in and said, “only 5 more minutes, John.” John giggled and said, “okay, I’m going to time you.” I smiled up at John and he said, “I remember when these things only took 30 minutes or less.” I agreed. And just when I went back to the game on my phone, John began to speak.
He told me he had a lot to do today and was hoping his oil change would really only be 5 more minutes. In that 5 minutes, John told me more about his life than I would have ever guessed. He was very sad. His wife passed away right before Christmas and her death was fresh on his mind and in his heart. Then the words began to flow. I just sat and listened, giving him my full attention and letting him know I was there.
John told me that his wife had 4 strokes over the last 4 years. These strokes took such a toll that her body that she couldn’t fight anymore. He told me that he has 2 sons. One is disabled and lives with him. He liked that because they were able to keep one another company.
John’s thoughts went to all of the paperwork he had to deal with since his wife’s death. Legal items, cancelling prescriptions, Social Security payments, and a plethora of other items on his to-do list. Then his eyes lit up as he remembered his wife’s hospice nurse. He said she was a wonderful young lady who had developed a special bond with his wife. So much so, that she came to the funeral.
John was touched and also knew that she was a single mother. So, he sent her a Christmas card with $100 so she and her children could enjoy a night out. Even in the midst of his grief, John found time to do something nice for someone else.
Just over 5 minutes had passed and the technician returned and told John his truck was ready. John was ready to pay and get on with the rest of his errands. I told him to take care and hope that he has a good day. My heart was heavy after speaking with him and thinking of how he now had to go through life without his wife.
The lesson these two men taught me this day – don’t be too busy or self-absorbed to engage in small talk with strangers. My agenda that day in the waiting area was to stay to myself and enjoy the quiet. However, that agenda was interrupted by two sweet men who just wanted to talk. More importantly, they needed someone to listen. And that’s exactly what I did!
Listening – active listening doesn’t cost us anything but our time and attention. So many of us run through life focused on the emails cluttering our inbox, the social media posts that are going viral, or staying away from others so we can isolate ourselves from the world around us. But, we are relational creatures, meant to interact with each other, especially in person. That interaction includes listening.
So, don’t get so wrapped up with what you plan to do, but take advantage and learn from what is going on around you. Participate, listen, observe, and get involved when needed. You will be much better for it and you never know how much it means to those who interact with you!
